Sunny Days in Heaven
Spiritual/Political/Philosophical Blog on the Nature of Truth and Falsehood and Heaven

Wednesday, May 25, 2005  

Say it ain't so, James!

James Lileks wants to leave Minnesota
(Minne-so-cold as Hugh Hewitt calls it) for Arizona.

Having spent my teens years in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, I know something about the upper Midwest and its climate (arrggghh horrible, yuck, ugh, help, help!).

But James, Arizona is not the answer. Take it from one who lives in Sacramento in the central valley of California, or the frying pan and the fire as we affectionately call it here.

Ten straight days of 110 degrees is not uncommon here (yes, a dry heat, I know, but you still swelter and sweat; breathing feels like leaning into a stove or sucking on an exhaust pipe. And get this, we only have two seasons most years (this not being one of them): a short winter of rain and more rain and then 9 months of summer.

It is not, "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate."

Oh no, our summer's are murder. Walk the dog in the afternoon? Let the beast lie in his excrement. Go out for an errand. Owww! The steering wheel just burned my palms off!!

You can fry an egg on the pavement. I joke not. Every year a TV station puts a frying pan on the sidewalk and fries an egg. They put a thermometer in a car that has its windows rolled up and they bake a turkey.

Air conditioning in the car? Well, you need to have some moisture in the air for it to actually be effective, and how long are most errands anyway? Not long enough to cool the car. Even at full blast on the highway at 112 degrees the sun and fire streams in so hot that the vehicle never gets cool.

Sound like fun, yet? Arizona has only one season: Summer. Unless you add the second season in the middle of summer: Hell!

James, if you have any sense you will move to the most perfect climate on Earth: La Jolla, California in San Diego. That's heaven.

posted by Mark Butterworth | 10:19 PM |