Sunny Days in Heaven
Spiritual/Political/Philosophical Blog on the Nature of Truth and Falsehood and Heaven

Wednesday, June 16, 2004  

It is a choice

Some time ago, Eve Tushnet wrote about same sex attraction in a way that settled the question of biology and choice for me.

It's also true that "homosexuality"/same-sex attraction/queerness serves as a code for other and deeper alienations. I think this is true of virtually everyone with a strong and early history of SSA. You come across the same scene over and over in the autobiographies (including, I note for the polemically inclined, Jonathan Rauch's [in Gay Marriage] and Andrew Sullivan's): Before there was any sense of sexual difference, there was a dug-in, abiding sense of exile, of aloneness, of having been cut off from some needed love. Rauch, Sullivan, and I later ended up linking this sense to our sexual and romantic attractions. I suspect that there is some reason for that--this was not merely a random coincidence on our parts. I also suspect that although this linkage was encouraged by our cultural context (including in the ways that culture tried to discourage and denigrate homosexuality), it was not as if culture was somehow imposing homosexual attractions that weren't there.

But the sense of exile comes first.

I asked Eve if she thought it possible that that same sex orientation may be a self-creating biochemical feedback loop.

What I mean is that in the case of severe Depression, a person's brain chemistry is altered as they enter the fugue state of depression. The depressive state then continues to produce the chemicals that hold a person in that state. It is a feedback cycle or loop. You become depressed, and the depression keeps you depressed because you are now in an altered state.

I asked Eve if she thought that deep alienation as a child might not direct a person into a homosexual orientation and hold them there. She considered it possible indeed.

We know for a fact that homosexual males rev up their testosterone through heightened sexual activity, and that their depravity ramps up in an addiction which is completely bio-chemical, that is, all in their heads.

Homosexuals of both sexes often end their homosexuality by choice and without compunction. For many, the compulsion simply dies or fades.

Many young people are drawn (or seduced) into homosexual practice through lack of clear sexual identity because of confusion, alienation, despair, loneliness, and disconnectedness. That is, deeply upset and confused teenagers can be influenced to believe they are homosexual and become so - thereby creating that feedback loop of reinforcement.

There are, no doubt, many testimonies of men who claim they were obviously queer from day one, who as toddlers were not playing with trucks and blocks, but wanting to play with dolls, and dress up in girl's clothes.

I suppose that's true, yet I am fairly persuaded that such girly boys might be gently redirected and raised to a more masculine identity, but it is something a person must want. A child, insofar as they desire to please, may respond well to loving direction.

A youngster or young person, who is able to see the right of things, is able to choose. For God, anything is possible. The insight, moral clarity, healing process, and work of prayer (properly and patiently followed) can achieve the moral, intellectual, and spiritual ends which a human is called upon to ascend to.

In a sense, it is a matter of consciousness. Someone who is satisfied with their consciousness, and defiant of a deeper perspective, will remain as they please, and as their brain chemistry seduces them. More ambitious people who have some devotion to truth and the courage to bear a cross some distance will allow themselves amendment.

posted by Mark Butterworth | 2:20 PM |