Spiritual/Political/Philosophical Blog on the Nature of Truth and Falsehood and Heaven
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| Sunny Days in Heaven Spiritual/Political/Philosophical Blog on the Nature of Truth and Falsehood and Heaven |
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Thursday, May 09, 2002 Common Sense (or why I like this woman) I have tried to teach my daughter to think and question as I hear Amy Welborn doing by asking obvious questions or making what should be obvious observations about life. Her blog which takes down an essay that asserts that 50's Catholics created a society that allowed for secrecy and shame in children who were molested by priests rather than tell their parents and wreck their faith is clearly nonsense as Amy points out. I was molested at 14 by a man outside a Catholic church (but that had nothing to do with it). Shame made me keep it secret. Shame and anger at my own stupidity. I had been like a deer in the headlights - frozen and in shock. I was paralyzed. Later I blamed myself for this paralysis, having no idea that children and young people haven't a clue what to do. We are like young puppies submitting to an alpha male. We role over on our backs automatically. Now I hear various Cardinals and Bishops talking about the difference between pedophilia and ephebophilia as if the latter isn't so bad, and that young people are less defenseless and may even participate or invite such events. They make the same distinction between a priest molesting a 16 year old girl on a camping trip and touching a child. As if the girl knew what to do and shares some responsibility. But I tell you, there are people (women perhaps) in their 50's who are innocent enough and trusting enough to not have any hardened skills at deflecting a predator. Does that make them stupid, foolish, or partly responsible? Amy nails the fact that it is not necessarily culture or conditioning which makes children and young people afraid to speak up. It is shame and horror. In fact, sometime after being molested, I eventually forgot the whole incident and never recalled it or spoke about it until five or six years ago. I am 49. It wasn't a conscious decision to forget it, either. I never said, "I will not think about this again." I just forgot it out of some inner compulsion to bury it. And it would have taken an army of counselors to get me to explain what that man had done to me in open court. I was that ashamed and defiled. posted by Mark Butterworth | 3:30 PM | |
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