Spiritual/Political/Philosophical Blog on the Nature of Truth and Falsehood and Heaven
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| Sunny Days in Heaven Spiritual/Political/Philosophical Blog on the Nature of Truth and Falsehood and Heaven |
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Thursday, April 04, 2002 I Love Being a Dad (I really do) I have a seventeen year old daughter, Shana. She is beautiful, but she has not had any boys interested in her. Until now. There is a young man her age at her school whom she likes. I call him her beau since I can't say boyfriend which would imply a seriousness or deep romantic attachment which I don't quite think is there yet. (Never, I hope, at her age!) Shana is going to the Junior Prom with said Boy. But not until I meet this fellow and have him for dinner. (Which is what his friends said would happen - that I'd eat him alive, as my daughter later told me the prior ribbing he got.) Last night he was here and we had a nice meal. The fellow was earnest, seemed sincere, was polite, respectful, and able to talk without a lot of trouble. I approved of my daughter's choice. He did not at all appear to be an egotist, aggressive, or a user, but someone who was genuine in his like and interest in my precious Flower. After he left and my daughter returned, she told me about her plans for Prom night. First, dinner at a Jamaican place then the dance; and then one of the fellows was going to have a co-ed sleep-over at his parent's house with his parents home. It would be a lot of fun. "No." "Huh?" "The answer is no, you can't attend the after prom party." "Why?" "I don't approve of co-ed sleep-overs." My daughter did not throw a fit, but became tearful. Tried to reason me out of it, but I simply and kindly asserted that this was a subject not open to debate or examination of reasons. She would have to trust me about this and would understand better when older. She basically accepted that, but was still deeply disappointed and gave me a great compliment, "Why do you have to be so caring and sensitive towards me? Why can't you be less concerned and more indifferent like my friends' parents?" Frankly, I was a bit shocked about the whole thing. I know the parents who are sponsoring the after prom party. They are both church going Christians. Most of my daughter's friends are all church going Christians, but it seems like none of these parents can say, "No." Their kids are all pretty good kids, but only a fool allows young people to get into situations that might be compromising. I couldn't explain yet to my daughter that making too much out of Prom night is foolish. It's just a dinner and a dance. Not a great rite of passage. It's meant to be benign and not a challenge. When young people think some night is supposed to be special and exalting, then they start thinking of ways to especially make it so. Alcohol or drugs might lift us up, they think, to a higher level of being. Sex is a big deal and supposed to be exalting, let's see how that works and if it's true. They put extra pressure on themselves and each other to make more of something than it can possibly be, and then try to pump up the volume of pleasure or joy. It's not that I don't trust my daughter, but I don't place temptation right in front of her and dare her to resist, either. Nor will her Senior Prom be any different I told her. "But I'll be eighteen! An adult!" "Yes, but in our house it's our rules. When you're on your own, your hours will be your own, too." All this nonsense about limousines, hotel rooms, extremely late hours is terrible for the kids. Parents have got to start putting a stop to this stuff. It is very corrupting and insidious. I have another problem, though. I would like to encourage my daughter to go camping with friends. Road trips and adventures outdoors are great confidence builders and safe ways to venture out into the world on a longer leash. I don't think the opportunity is as great for hanky panky when there's a crowd in a tent. Nor when so much of the experience is about working to meet the needs of eating, sightseeing, getting along, organizing, and supervising. Of course, the isolation is there and opportunity, but it seems a bit safer to me than my daughter in a champagne colored, strapless, satin evening gown that makes her look like a young Marilyn Monroe. If anybody out there has a better idea for unsupervised, co-ed, camping trips for young people, email me, please. posted by Mark Butterworth | 3:24 PM | |
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